Lows: My number one low, losing Nicholas Scott Stover. Then there was losing Coby, three times. Then there was pretty much that whole summer. And allll the shit I’ve had to get over.
Highs: My number one high, getting closer and spending more time with my family. Then there was me and Coby getting better. Our One Year. Our date nights. And everything he’s done to try and fix the past.
I’m like
But then she walks over and starts a conversation and I’m like
But the whole time I’m thinking
Then she finally walks away and I’m like
Then I see her talking to my boyfriend and I’m like
So I knock that bitch the fuck out and walk away like
Then the next day she comes up to me and apologizing like
And I’m like
LOLOLOL.
HAHAH ! THIS MADE MY DAY !
Idk. Letttttsssss skip it.
It’s really, really cool of you to not text back.
just saying.
“Love someone not because they give you what you need. Instead, love them because they give you the feeling you never thought you needed.”
Paralyzer-Finger 11
Anna Maria-We the Kings
Some remix of Please Don’t Go-Coby’s CD
Trouble-Nevershoutnever!
These Are The Days-Sugarland
Down(Candle light version)-Jay Sean
Me and You- Barry Lois Pollisar
You and Your Heart-Jack Johnson
All of the Lights-Kayne West
This is the Thing-Fink.
That song would show up. Fuckin A.
First love: Coby Willis. I think thats pretty well known.
First kiss: Coby Willis. In the hall, 8th grade. It was spring. Right by my locker on the way to spanish. Dylan and Sarah could tell as soon as I walked in the room and my face was bright red. He’d tried it about five times, but I was so scared I kept brushing him off and going in for the hug.
I want a happy family. Not the kind that can’t wait to seperate and go into their rooms. And I don’t want to have to worry about how I’m going to pay my bills and how I’m going to manage Christmas. Not the perfect happy go lucky family, but a pretty nice one. And I don’t just want it to look like that on the outside.
I just want to be Happy.
Probably on September 3rd, 2009. When I thought everything was perfect, and he wouldn’t hurt me this time.
Things change.
Aries loves freedom, and will accept any challenge. Aries will get impatient if your ideas do not work out immediately and as expected. You are unwilling to follow someone else’s suggestions, especially if they do not make sense to you. You often have excess energy which can make you aggressive. Arians are brave leaders who express care and concern for all they lead. However, an Arian as a follower is rare, and can be troublesome. Some Arians will act self-centered because they believe that their views are right, and anyone who conflicts with them is wrong. Because you are open and honest, you will make energetic and generous friends. Arians have trouble compromising which can lead to problems in otherwise smooth friendships.
I guess.
Fuck this. I’m not that interesting.
Hmm…should we even spend the time counting all the time’s I’ve thought about it? Thought about why I was even here. Thought about why I couldn’t do anything right. obviously I wasn’t good enough for my boyfriend, he was into girls other than me. I didn’t do anything right with my mom, or dad. They were constantly yelling at me. I’ve never done all that well in school. Mostly B’s and C’s. Maybe a D every now and then. I didn’t know what i wanted to do with my life. My brother has always said I’m a lazy fat ass bitch. Why should I be here? I’m not wanted. I’ve thought about how I would do it. No one would care. Coby would bounce back intantly, find someone new quickly. I wasn’t all that close with my family. They wouldn’t miss me. I know I’d never fallow through with it. i know I’d never try. I’d never be able to end my own life. Then, one Tuesday my mom told me to call her when I could.
We were on Silercity, almost home. Coby’s phone viberated. Taylor’s Mom(:-“Have Taylor call me when she can please.” I called, the phones ringing and I’m thinking shit, I’m late. I hope she’s not mad. She answers with, “Hello?” “Hey mom, I’m by Jori’s house, I’ll be there in a sec.” “Nick Stover passed away.” I didn’t quite hear anything but “…passed away.” I’m thinking it’s one of my two great-grandma’s I was never that close with. “Who?” “Nick Stover.” “WHAT? How?” I’m figuring car crash. “He shot himself in the head.”
Crying my eyes out I can barley make it to the garage door to put in the code. Saying goodbye at his casket was the hardest thing i have ever done. Nick didn’t think he was loved. He probably thought just about the same thing I did. But, it was probably a lot worse than my hell was. As happy as I am for him, being happy now, it was a wrong desicion. Everyone’s hearts he touched in his life are now broken. My family’s crushed.
If you have something to have faith in, go for it.
Both substances destroy families, both break hearts and fuck up lives. Both ruin hopes and dreams, both (for some people) make that “one time thing” into something you will depend on for your whole life.
But, alcohol for celebrating every once and a while? Not a big deal.
In ten years, I will be 23. I would maybe like to be married by then. I will be in college, working on whatever I’ve made my mind up on that I would like to be. I would love to be either starting a family, or being close to starting a family. I hope in ten years I will be happy. Happy with my desicions that I’ve made and happy with the path I chose. I want to be happy with my husband, if I’m married. In ten years a lot can happen, life changing things can happen. Who knows wher eanyone will be in ten years?
Some people from the outside might see my relationship as “fucked up”. They might see me as an idiot. But what they don’t see is why I’m in love with him, why I’m in love with us. Maybe if they did they’d understand why I don’t want to give up the happy times we have. When we’re not fighting, mad, or when we’re not thinking about the past things that have happened in our relationship. When we’re laughing and while he’s being the funniest and sexiest person I know, I’m thinking to my self how much I love him. Together we can be really weird. And we have the best time being like that. Sometimes we say stupid shit, and we do fight a lot. But we get over it. We get over everything.
